Last May my husband dumped a truck load of pent up depression on me all at once. He had recently weaned him self off of long term high dose opiates. He told me he would need help and it would be hard when he started, I told  him to just let m know what he needed. Caffeine is the strongest thing I’ve ever been addicted to so I didn’t really know what to expect or look for. He never asked for help he held everything in and fell into a very deep depression and was suicidal. We had a very hard conversation that left me worried and mad.

He bottled everything back up and his affair started the next month. He became more distant protected his phone which he has never done before, tried to drown himself in alcohol, started smoking, became very reckless and gradually became more emotionally and physically distant. 

Today 5 months after the affair ended he is happier than I have seen him in years. He has dug deep and is more open, things he’s been holding in since he was a kid are slowly creeping out. He’s not perfect but he’s gradually becoming the person he wants to be. 

I’m starting to let go of some of my anxiety and temptation to mess with AP’s head. I wish she’d stop trying to contact him. 

Sorry if I have any strange typos, I’m on heavy pain killers and a little sleepy. 

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Sounds like more of that collateral beauty Keep was mentioning.  Strange that what seems to be the turning point for one person to actually start becoming the person they want to be, can cause so much damage and pain for the rest of us.  Too bad hitting rock bottom never comes without collateral damage to everyone who loves you.  But thank God that there is collateral beauty as well.  
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child
DD May 2016

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl
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I’m worried that this is the calm before the storm. His affair covered all of our birthdays including kids and grandparents, it’s going to be hard thinking about where he was then. I’m going try hard to focus on where he is now. Collateral Beauty is a pretty good description for the good that has come from the hell he put me through.  
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