BrokenHearted
It is our 24 yr anniversary tomorrow. It is our second after Dday. I still don't want to celebrate it, even though things are going pretty well with us. Will I ever feel differently? Anyone further along have similar feelings? Has anyone gotten to a point where they do want to celebrate? 

I've told him how I feel, and he gets hurt and upset. But I can't help how I feel.
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Keepabuzz
It is our 24 yr anniversary tomorrow. It is our second after Dday. I still don't want to celebrate it, even though things are going pretty well with us. Will I ever feel differently? Anyone further along have similar feelings? Has anyone gotten to a point where they do want to celebrate? 

I've told him how I feel, and he gets hurt and upset. But I can't help how I feel.


He can get hurt and upset, it’s all his fault. So he needs to get hurt and upset at himself. I’m a little over 3 years out from d-day. I haven’t not celebrated either of the 2 wedding anniversaries that have come and went since d-day. The first was about 3 months after d-day. I didn’t even want to see my wife. The second a year later (where you are), we were doing much better, but I still had no desire to celebrate it. To me it would be like celebrating a death. My marriage was dead, she killed it. So I told her a few days after that last one, that I would never celebrate it again. She was upset, and hurt, but that wasn’t my fault. I told her I would be open to picking a new date that we could celebrate this “new” marriage, but I would never celebrate that anniversary again. If anything it’s a sad day for me, certainly not a happy day. She agreed to picking a new date. Our anniversary date is next month, it will be just another day, a sad day for sure, but there will be no celebrating. 
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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Damaged
Our 25th was during his A. D day was 3 months before our 26th. For our 25 he placed a really nice post on FB with pictures. I wanted to get something really nice for the 25th. I waited almost a year( 1 month before D day). Ended up getting a nice piece of jewelry and large photo. After D day I almost threw the bracelet out of my car window.                                   For the 26th he reposted the 25 Anniversary post. I believe he thought he was doing a good thing but it didn’t like it at all. All I could think was that he was with her during that time. We did go out to dinner for our 26 and 27th. It was nice. I just tried to have a good attitude.                  I have gotten away from FB since D day. I don’t want my Anniversary or Birthday posted. As for the Anniversary date itself, it really doesn’t bother me. I don’t think our 30 th will mean as much to me as it could have. But I will continue to celebrate the date and try to have a good attitude.
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BrokenHearted
It was a tough day to be sure, but I made it through. Whew, glad that's over.
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hurting
Good on you for making it through. Our first anniversary post d-day is coming up- the FIRST one he hasn’t been cheating for. Wow. What a MILESTONE (sarcasm much?) and I’ve been triggered much more than usual coming up to it. It isn’t even here yet. This is going to be tough...
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midwestgirl
Hurting,  
 
I am right there with you. Year one is just about over and I am more than a wee bit apprehensive as D-day approaches. Trying to keep my eyes looking forward, especially with this frick'en milestone approaching.  But  often find myself putting myself in that exact scenario of discovery. Crappy situation if I do say so myself. Strength, Hope, Future, Joy ~ perhaps this should be my mantra.

BS, D-day 9/2017
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K46
We went out. But it’s not the same, as the places we celebrated our anniversary he took women there after. 
So does not feel the same now. Just another day. We don’t even wear wedding rings. He lost his. I don’t wear mine as there has been no effort his side to get a new ring. The C thought he should and start showing he was married and to have a symbol to remind him he was, but nothing. 
However, that’s all it would be. A symbol. It does not prevent an affair. 
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BrokenHearted
My WH hasn't worn his wedding ring in 24 yrs, but on special occasions. His AP knew he was married, and so did he.  I wonder why we ever spent the money on his ring to begin with!

It just seems flat. No FB posts about pur years together, nothing but a half hearted happy anniversary at the end of the day. I would have thought he would have made more of an effort, but he didn't . It's probably for the best . It was a day of reminders that he broke our vows, and that our marriage is dead. 
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hurting
Did you want it mentioned? I have my first coming up and I don’t want any mention of the wretched date. I wish I had never married him at all. I wish I had known him for what he really was. A selfish lying self gratifying coward. I have no anniversary with him. Our marriage never even existed BECAUSE of him. It was all a lie.

we are in a relationship. Trying to create a better relationship than the awful one we had before. But he absolved our marriage by being a cheater and a liar.
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BrokenHearted
hurting wrote:
Did you want it mentioned? I have my first coming up and I don’t want any mention of the wretched date. I wish I had never married him at all. I wish I had known him for what he really was. A selfish lying self gratifying coward. I have no anniversary with him. Our marriage never even existed BECAUSE of him. It was all a lie.

we are in a relationship. Trying to create a better relationship than the awful one we had before. But he absolved our marriage by being a cheater and a liar.


Hurting, we had 21 wonderful years together before his affair. It's been so difficult for us in all areas, and I believe that contributed to his poor choice and affair. I can't just throw those years away, though I feel our marriage is dead, I'm willing to create a new and better one. I had hoped I would feel differently, and maybe next year I will. It was better than last year's anniversary between us because he was still in the fog but was trying. This year our relationship is in a better place, but it's still bleeding (at least not hemmorraging like last year) and still in near of healing.

My WH needs to start working on things...i cannot do it for him, and needs to forgive himself and start understanding the "why". 

I hope you can one day find peace. I'm not entirely there yet, but believe I'm on the right path.
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hurting
We never had a good marriage. We have been married for 3 years though together for 13. This was the first ‘anniversary’ he hasn’t been cheating for. What an accomplishment... (NOT!). I could insert many more nasty names here about him that I’m sure you can all think of, but I won’t.

I survived the day yesterday. My approach was to treat it as a ‘nothing’ day. There was absolutely nothing special about the day. Nothing worth celebrating. My WS knew this. There was some crying of course... there is always sadness and pain. But I managed.
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